Although I have been quite good at staying optimistic, like every other human being, there are times when I have felt that having a "you've got this" and "you can do it" attitude just hasn't worked for me. My mood has been low, energy levels practically missing, my mind has been all over the place and I occasionally felt 'done with the world'. I just felt lost, literally...
I had moments of feeling total despair, especially during October and November. For me, they are my reflection months; when I begin to look back on the year and check myself as it were. The response towards my personal growth was [fairly] decent [there will always be room for improvement], but, it was almost a wrap when I started to think about my creative endeavours because, I felt a bit "meh". Yep, I'm talking about blogging and radio!!
Suffice to say, a solid perspective was restored once I re-read one of my favourite books, by Oprah, titled 'What I Know For Sure'. See, what I know for sure is that I will continue to pursue whatever I remain passionate about until I draw my last breath, regardless of how well I may, or may not be doing, but, I'll not be hard on myself should that passion fade!
"The struggle is too real" is a phrase I heard a lot during 2017 and, for me, it definitely was in a number of ways, however, I stayed focused on the things and people who make me happy and encourage me to keep striving! This, my friends, is not easy, but, it is achievable and a great way to rise above any nonsense. I also made progress with a big part of my anxiety - I, to a degree, started to speak openly about the things I was finding difficult. I absolutely loathe the thought that I may be a burden to someone and I have also had a real battle with letting folks in because, I haven't wanted to get close to anyone so as to avoid potential drama which may [inevitably] lead to a fallout. I praise God that I am much better at sharing the absolute truth of my feelings now [where necessary] and with the relevant people, organically.
I'm proud of myself - I've done well with my anxiety, I achieved the goal of publishing a blog post once a week [that might change to once a fortnight next year] and I've managed to live a fairly 'normal' life despite constantly being in pain. I took a course in Photography, saved and bought for myself my first DSLR camera [and started a photography project], kept up with my exercise, I was chosen to host a big corporate awards show, which champions and supports our youth [Business Launchpad], launched my own clothing range in partnership with a charity, was rated a Top UK Blogger by Feedspot and successfully ticked off the majority of my vision board. I did alright, mate!
This year, one of my main goals was to use the platforms available to me to support others and I did that. I have always done that. Next year the goal is to focus on my own pursuits both professionally and personally. I need to look after myself before trying to look out for others.
This is my last blog entry, for 2017, as I now look forward to spending Christmas with my immediate family and I cannot wait! For me, the festive season is all about the children and they're the ones I am most excited to see open presents, nom on delicious food and have lots of fun. Who would ever believe that I was once a Scrooge? LOL!!
Be good to yourself, folks. When it comes down to it, you're all you've got.
Thank you so, so much for supporting this blog [to date, it has received 47,000+ views worldwide], my radio journey and all of my other endeavours. I hope to have your continued support throughout 2018 as I take on a new and very different chapter of my life. Merry Christmas and God bless x
Thanks for reading.
PS. I will try to include a random fact about myself with each post throughout 2018!!