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Monday, 5 December 2016

BECOMING A MUM

9 months in my tummy, potentially the world of cravings, more aches and pains on top of those I already live with on a daily basis, nausea, possible frequent sickness, weight gain, stretch marks, fatigue, heightened emotions and the rest! See all of that I can handle.... The fact that, although we live in such a beautiful world, there are far too many horrid individuals living among us isn't something I can handle.

Aged 14, or 15, I remember having a conversation with my mother about being a parent one day and I said, "Mummy, I don't ever want to get married, or have babies". She didn't question me, her response was, "okay, no problem". At the time of sharing this post, I am 36, single and focused on my goals and my feelings about parenthood remain the same. The thought of becoming a mum sends my anxiety through the roof!

Not that I feel a need to justify my decisions however, I am so over being asked if I'm married and have any children, or when I'll settle down and start a family, followed by looks of utter disgust and disappointment when I reply with, "I have no intention of having a family of my own, thanks". Since when did it become compulsory? I've no interest in doing such things. In all honesty, the idea of getting married is absolutely fine although it would need to be incredibly low-key and inexpensive! 

Life provides no guarantee that you, or your loved ones will always be safe and well. We can never know for sure if, when, or how we can protect those we love from experiencing awful things in their lives so, I've chosen not to place that burden or worry on myself any further by having children of my own! As I mentioned, the world is filled with far too much darkness for me to bring another human being into it who will, as a result of that darkness, have to go through way too many murky times. In addition to that, I just do not ever get that broody feeling when I'm around babies. I'm the one who will "coo", maybe hold them for a while and then smile real wide as I hand them back.

My mind is and has been made up for a good 22 years and while I frigging adore children so much, the role of auntie, occasional babysitter, youth worker etc are more than enough for me. I get to contribute to the positive and productive growth of our young people without becoming too emotionally involved or attached.

I think it is so wrong to try and make a woman [or man for that matter] feel as though they exist only for the purpose of reproduction and, or to imply that women above a certain age who are without a husband and children have less of a place in society, or within a 'social' circle. My position in this universe has nothing to do with whether or not I have, or will have a baby and everything to do with what I choose to contribute to the greater good of the world.


Although I am really pleased for those who make the choice to do so, I do not want to bring babies into this world and that, my readers, is that! The End!

Thanks for reading! 
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